Kleinbars: The Secret Recipe REVEALED!

Alright.  I'm going to reveal a secret today.

    Many of you are aware of the energy bars that I make.  I call them "Kleinbars", because that is the level of creativity I am capable of in regards to naming things.

    These have evolved over the years.  In the beginning, they tasted like shit.  Why?  Because I didn't add any water and they were basically bricks with chocolate chips and dried fruit.  Then I added water and Kleinbars became an actual energy bar that people would eat (by people I mean my housemates and other team members from the UPS XC and track teams that were forced to eat them at our weekly Pie/Desert-Night).  Then I thought, "What if I put pure cocoa in them?  I have an undiagnosed addiction to chocolate, so more must be better right?"  No.  I put too much cocoa in them and that batch tasted like dirt.  Kleinbars Chocolate Dirt flavor, which was quickly pulled from the market.  And by pulled from the market I mean I sadly and slowly ate them all by myself over several weeks because no one would touch them.  Even the Tacoma raccoons wouldn't touch them.  I put them outside and those creatures looked at me through the window with an expression that said, "What the **** is this?  You want me to eat that?  Hell no."  So the cocoa powder was removed from the recipe.  That is not a good way to end an introduction into a food recipe.  Further tweaking was undertaken (especially after the cocoa incident) to what they are today:  Full Blown Awesome Energy Bars.

     Kleinbars were designed to be both a pre-run and post-run snack.  They have a 4:1 carbohydrate to protein ratio, which is in the realm of the post-exercise carb:protein ratio that you want for optimal recovery and glycogen replacement (3:1 or 4:1 are the optimal ratios taken ~30 minutes after the end of exercise).  They are also light enough on the stomach that they work well as a pre-run snack, in case you happen to be hungry before a run but don't want to mess your stomach up with a huge meal a few minutes before.

     So here is the recipe designed by yours truly.  Make sure you cook them because the recipe does call for eggs.

Ingredients

     -3 Cups Rolled Oats
     -3/4 Cup All-Purpose Flour
     -3 Eggs
     -1/2 Cup Brown Sugar
     -2 servings of Whey Protein Powder (whatever GOOD kind you want)
     -1/2 Cup Peanut Butter (Get the GOOD kinds.  IE not the crap kinds with Hydrogenated Oils in them)
     -1.5 Tbsp Canola Oil
     -1 Cup Chocolate Chips (Again, get the good kinds.  No Hydrogenated Oils)
                 -You can use Milk, Semi-Sweet, Dark, White Chocolate, etc.  Whatever you want.
     -1 Cup Dried Fruit (Any kind you want.  This is optional)
     -1 Dash of Salt (Just a little bit)
     -1/2-1 Cup of water (Depending on how dry you want them)

Directions

     -Heat the oven to 350 degrees.  
     -Lightly coat a 12"x 8" (ish) baking pan with cooking spray (so they don't stick)
     -Mix all ingredients together until combined
     -Press batter into the baking pan evenly.
     -Bake for 20-25 minutes (NOT TOO LONG or you will be enjoying homemade bricks)
      -They will be lightly golden brown when ready.
     -Cool and cut into 24 squares.
     -Enjoy your Kleinbars.  

Nutritional Information 

Per Single Serving (Approx): 195 Kcals, 7 grams fat, 26 carbohydrates, 7 grams protein, 3 grams fiber.   (26:7 carbohydrate to protein ratio or 3.7:1 ratio.  Close enough).  

Per Batch:  4680 kilocalories, 168 grams fat, 624 grams carbohydrate, 168 grams protein and 72 grams fiber.  

If you do add cocoa powder, don't add too much.  They will taste like dirt.  I promise you.

     So there you have it.  The secret has been revealed.  I hope you enjoy them. I'm learning that as I get older, I enjoy cooking more and more because each time is a little experiment.  I have a few more recipes I'm working on that I'll post soon.  One is a Kleinbar alternative made by my good friend and DPT-student buddy Dan's fiancee Cindy, who is a wonderful and awesome Dietitian.  Another is one that I call "Kleinbites", which are small bite sized energy snacks.  The Kleinbites need some tweaking before I post the recipe, but they are really good.

Again I hope you enjoy the Kleinbars recipe!

Thanks for reading!

As always, my opinions are my own.

Tack On!!!

-Matthew Klein, SPT

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